The Fear That Runs the Show
Meeting the voice that mistakes control for safety.
There’s a voice in me that plans everything. It books the exits before it enters the room. It reads the ending before it agrees to the first page. For most of my life I called this voice being responsible.
It took a long time to see it for what it is: fear, wearing the costume of competence. The plans were never about the future. They were about not having to feel what the present might bring.
The strange thing is that nothing I’ve made that matters came from the planning voice. It came from the other one — quieter, less articulate, the one that says try it and see. Listening as a Creative Act was one attempt to describe that voice. This is another.
I don’t think the fear ever leaves. But it can be demoted. It can ride along without driving.