may 30, 2026 · essays · living draft · last tended jun 4

Life Is Not a Problem to Solve

Against self-improvement as low-grade war.

Somewhere along the way I enrolled myself in a permanent improvement program. Better habits, better focus, better mornings, a better me perpetually six weeks out.

It took years to notice the premise underneath the program: that who I am right now is a problem. That today is raw material for some future day that will finally count.

I’m resigning from the program. Not from growth — from war. Things that are loved tend to grow better than things that are managed.